In my book, For
Pastors Only: Dealing with Rejection in Ministry, I wanted to explain,
first to my daughters, why I was baffled by the tendency of others to blow out
others’ candles so that the remaining light candles were perceived to be
brighter. This is what I wrote in my introduction:
“Baffled.
In a word, “baffled”. That's the best
way I can describe my frustration at what I've seen in the Church. Other words
like “disappointment”, “disillusionment” and even at times “depression” have described my emotional
state when I dared to look behind the curtains and discovered the inner
workings of the life of a church.
What
truly plays out behind the scenes in the life of a church? I've seen it from
the position of a janitor working at several churches; as a board member
serving the church; a volunteer in many active ministries of a church; as the
pastor of a church; as the spouse of a wife who pastored three churches; and as
an adult missionary serving with our family in Costa Rica.
While
away at college, I heard for the first time of the nasty politics happening in
my home church. Several prominent families had combined forces to run the
pastor out of the church on what my parents had told me were trumped-up charges
of inappropriate behavior that the pastor allegedly had had with an emotionally
unstable woman during counseling sessions.
From
the sidelines, I watched this play out in my church and walked away frustrated
that this could happen. But I reconciled myself to a belief that this was a
once-in-a-lifetime unique occurrence. I continued my education at a Bible
college, but I never forgot how poorly that situation was handled. Nor did I
forget how many people were hurt in the process of removing that pastor from
the church; not just the pastor and his wife, but also many other people like
my parents who never honestly understood the vehemence of those driven to
remove that pastor.
Naïveté.
It is very difficult to admit when we have been naïve. I had thought that by
the time I had reached forty years of age that I had matured enough not to be
overly idealistic. I assumed by that point in my life that I'd seen enough of
the world. Surely, I had reached a good balance of not being cynical but at the
same time being realistic as I observed other people’s actions in my life.
After a decade of serving with those in leadership in various churches in Costa Rica and being a leader in various churches in the United States, I have observed that those who serve in leadership with a pastor in a local church have a tremendous impact on the spiritual vitality of a church. If those individuals serving in leadership are strong spiritually, then the church as a whole is strong spiritually. It is also true that if those leaders are spiritually weak, then the church as a whole is weak spiritually.”
In other words, if the leaders shine their candles in the darkness and the pastor is permitted to let his candle shine then the whole room will be lit up. But if these leaders try to extinguish each others’ candles in some sort of twisted sense of competition, then all you will end up with is a dark room with maybe one candle still shining. In that contentious spirit of competition, the cooperative unity in the Holy Spirit that comes from a true love of Christ and love for Jesus will be snuffed out. This needs to be avoided at all costs.
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